Winning the War against a disgruntled E-bay Seller

We’re often told that if we’re kind, stay out of the drama, and focus on our craft, the world will reflect positivity back at us. But there’s a glitch in that logic. Sometimes, you can be the most intentional, grounded version of yourself, and people will still find a way to pin their mess on you.

What's worse is that this sort of thing is everywhere. I recently dealt with a narcissistic Ebay seller who refused to co operate. I needed a refund for an airbed that I could not pick up. After navigating a frustrating and circular exchange the situation escalated when my factual attempts to resolve the transaction were met with defensiveness and accusations of harassment. They even tried to make a false report against me. All I know is that I handled it really well straight from the very beginning to the very end. They wanted control. I won the war.

Even though I mentally worked though it my nervous system still posed the thoughts of what happen as a threat. I was awake randomly at 4am trying to close my eyes again. Yet, I was so proud of myself how I stood my ground. How could someone be so difficult to solve something that could of been so simple, and not taken a whole week to resolve? You’re over here trying to protect your energy and do the right thing. Then there is always someone passing blame on you for something you didn't do.

Why does this happen? There are three reasons for this:

• Deflection: It’s easier for people to blame a solid, stable person than to look at their own reflections.

• Misinterpretation: When you set boundaries and prioritize your peace, people who thrive on chaos often view your silence as "distance" or your independence as "arrogance."

• The Price of Integrity: When you’re consistent and principled, you become a mirror. People don't always like what they see when they stand next to someone who is actually doing the work.

In any situation I always ask myself - How am I going to handle these things? How am I going to be creative, and clever enough to find a solution at "boss level" ?

I write in my diary, talk to friends and family. I even write songs about it to cope with the damage. Sometimes I just sit around, and it just comes to me. I can accept that narcissists will not change. I can't change anyone's behavior. But I can move forward no matter how hard they try to bring me down.