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"Life after abuse, and How I have been handling things lately"




These past 4 months have been mostly affected by my healing process since dealing with my break up. I have spent hours, days just trying to figure things out, while trying to keep to some kind of routine with my cat.

It is a no brainer that PTSD can interupt your whole life. It affects how you feel, what you do, and how you think.


So as I stare into oblivion for absolutely no reason at all I trully feel like I can't do anything, including my songwritting. I have been trying my best to work to a plan, jump through hoops just to get professional help, and open up to my friends a lot more while maintatining my sobriety. My world feels like a mess right now. But I take no shit from anyone.


This whole experience has made me learn new things and have an understanding of how narcsisistic abuse works, which resonates with the person that I had been dealing with. I cannot change people. But I can take comfort in knowing that some of them can feel defeated for a while, and so they should be. But it's ok, they have heaps of supply. Either way I do wish this person well.


I have one final hurdle to get through, and a difficult deicision to make. It does involve the legal system, and that can take up your whole life if you let it. For those who know my journey thus far know what is going on via social media. But they are yet to understand the full extent of what I am currently going through. I apprecaite those who are on my side during this time.


Now we talk about my writers block. By this moment you know why. Everything that is negative in life can hold you back from chasing your dreams and aspirations. I have been feeling jaded. But not defeated.

I am trying my best to come back. I have been creating new ideas to hold onto what little work flow I still have left. I got two new songs to add to the collection for the upcoming album. This album could possibly be a game changer, and reflect on the past 26 years of my life. This is the only thing I look forward to when this blows over. I want to show people in song what I came capable of, and bring back the true meaning on expressing yourself, and your thoughts through song without. I will soon find my urges to be more productive, and go back to my own balance.




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